The Strength In Us 8/26/16

The Strength In Us

Today, I write about the strength in us. Do you ever get tired of being the strong one? I have been the strong one in the family since I was a child. I was a middle child and naturally became the “mediator” in my alcoholic/drug dependent dysfunctional home. I always seemed to keep a cool head about me and acted like the adult trying to calm everyone down and get things settled…each to their own corner, if you know what I mean.

I always seemed to keep a cool head about me and acted like the adult trying to calm everyone down and get things settled…each to their own corner, if you know what I mean.

When I married, it was the same situation. I married an alcoholic and eventually had two drug dependent step-children in their teens so I again was the mediator between the kids and their drunken father and Juvenile Hall and Social Workers and Counselors.

All I really wanted was for someone else to be the strong one once and a while. But that never happened. Now, I am 65 and still the strong one and today, I need to keep it together until 4:30 pm Central Time when I take my dog, Guinness, to be euthanized for his cancer that has become worse. I will keep it together until he has passed and I am at home again and then, I will cry and fall apart. That’s what I do, you see.

I wish for you someone to be the strong one for you so you can lean on him or her occasionally. We all need that. I am not completely alone. I have my adult daughter and God. I am thankful for those two in my life. Susan…

 

The Strength In Us
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You Were Given This Life Because You Are Strong Enough To Live It.

 

The Strength In Us
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Some people think that to be strong is to never feel pain. In reality, the strongest people are the ones who feel it, understand it and accept it.

 

The Strength In Us
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Never apologize for being sensitive or emotional. Let this be a sign that you’ve got a big heart and aren’t afraid to let others see it. Showing your emotions is a sign of strength. ~ Brigitte Nicole

 

The Strength In Us
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Be bold enough to use your voice, brave enough to listen to your heart, and strong enough to live the life you’ve always imagined.

Are You a People Pleaser? 8/22/16

Are You a People Pleaser?

Are you a people pleaser? One of the hardest things I had to deal with in therapy was learning to let go of being a people pleaser. I even chose the perfect career as a Registered Nurse for being a people pleaser. 

As a nurse, I continuously was focused on what other people needed and wanted many times to my own detriment. But through therapy and learning to set healthy boundaries, I learned how to meet other people’s needs in my career and in parenting without sacrificing my own needs and wants.

Tonight I share some quotes about people pleasing and some tips as well.

Are you a people pleaser? Find some quotes and some tips on my blog. Maybe they will help. Click To Tweet

Continue reading Are You a People Pleaser? 8/22/16

How’s Your Self-Esteem? 8/20/16

How’s Your Self-Esteem?

I wondered how’s your self-esteem? It’s the weekend and that is usually the time when I have enough time to take a deep breath and recenter. I also reevaluate how things are doing in the self-esteem department.

As many of you know, I have chronic depression and anxiety and both can do a number on my self-esteem so rechecks are warranted for me. But it doesn’t hurt to check in yourself.

What follows are some quotes from famous people about self-esteem. Take what you like and leave the rest, as they say at Al-anon. Enjoy…   Susan…


The Quotes

“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.”― Marilyn Monroe, actress

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection”― Siddhārtha Gautama, Buddha

“I never loved another person the way I loved myself.”― Mae West, actress

“Never be bullied into silence. Never allow yourself to be made a victim. Accept no one’s definition of your life, but define yourself.”― Harvey Fierstein, actor and playwright

“As long as you look for someone else to validate who you are by seeking their approval, you are setting yourself up for disaster. You have to be whole and complete in yourself. No one can give you that. You have to know who you are – what others say is irrelevant.”― Nic Sheff, author

“Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it. ”― M. Scott Peck, author

“The worst loneliness is to not be comfortable with yourself.”― Mark Twain, author

“I care for myself. The more solitary, the more friendless, the more unsustained I am, the more I will respect myself.”― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre author

“The man who does not value himself, cannot value anything or anyone.”― Ayn Rand, The Virtue of Selfishness, author and philosopher

Overthinking – Are You Guilty of This? 8/15/16

Overthinking – Are You Guilty of This?

The question to be asked is with Overthinking – Are You Guilty of This?  Overthinking is defined by the Urban Dictionary as “Excessive thinking about a problem, while losing focus on the big picture. The result is an overly complicated analysis, and any solution coming out of this will also be complicated. And probably a fruitless waste of time.”

So many of us have been programmed from childhood to think and rethink and then rethink some more about whether we have problem-solved well enough.

It is no wonder we walk around ruminating about things. And of course, the best time to think about things is at the end of the day when we are going to bed to try and sleep before the next work day or school day. So we’re awake overthinking.

I found this interesting infographic on Pinterest from blogs.psychcentral.com and I thought it listed the signs of overthinking well.

Overthinking - Are You Guilty?
Credit www.pinterest.com and blogs.psycentral.com

Okay. Now, you decided either you are an overthinker or you know someone who is an overthinker. What do you do with this information? Does this mean a trip to therapy?

No. Therapy may not be needed. It depends upon the degree of overthinking that you do. If your overthinking is mild to moderate, you can try these steps on your own at home.

3 STEPS TO STOP OVERTHINKING:

1. Get in touch with Nature.

If you don’t live or work in nature, then you need to take some time to get out in nature. Take your lunch break outside, or take a walk. Strengthen your bond with nature and this will benefit your mind by focusing on the beauty that surrounds you. That is the key…change your focus.

2. Repeat a Peaceful Mantra to yourself. 

Pay attention to your brain at this very moment…what kinds of thoughts do you observe? Most likely, you will notice that the majority of your thoughts center around what you have to do today or negative thoughts. Repeat a peaceful mantra or word/words to yourself to replace the overthinking or negative thoughts. Words like love, peace, light, silence work well. My word is Jesus.

3. Meditate.

If you are able meditation is very calming and stops the overthinking and uses the mantra approach as well. When meditating, you stop the flow of overthinking and negative thoughts bombarding your consciousness and replace this space with stillness. Negativity and overthinking can not coexist with the peaceful stillness of meditation. 

If you try it and find you cannot stop thinking, try a guided meditation which is a form of listening to a taped message of a peaceful scene such as a walk in the woods, sitting at the beach watching waves come in, etc. These are even available at your local library and online for free or minimal cost.

Psalm 62:5 (NKJV)

My soul, wait silently for God alone,
For my expectation is from Him.

Susan…

Overthinking - Are You Guilty of This?
Credit-www.pinterest.com

Staying Positive in a Negative World 8/10/16

Staying Positive in a Negative World

Today it is difficult staying positive in a negative world. Daily we are bombarded with news on TV, radio, internet, social media about politics, terrorism, crime, one or more crises in our cities whether because of budgets, or auto accidents, or failing businesses, etc. 

We can choose to focus on the negative aspects of our day or we can choose to overcome and focus on staying positive in this negative world. To stay positive with so much negativity around us, you need a plan.

To stay positive with so much negativity around us, you need a plan. Click To Tweet

This poster that I found on Pinterest.com gives you that plan in 6 steps. 

 

Staying Positive in a Negative World
Credit-www.pinterest.com

 

I believe two of the most helpful steps given are #3 and #6 combined. I keep a Gratitude Journal where I write three things that I am grateful for daily before I go to bed each night. That keeps me focused on positive things.

I keep a Gratitude Journal writing 3 things I am grateful for daily before going to bed. Click To Tweet

I reread my list again in the morning to start my day and in prayer thank God for what I am grateful for. It is a simple thing to do and easy for me to follow through with daily. You might want to give it a try yourself.

Romans 4:20-21 (NKJV)

20 He did not waver at the promise of God through unbelief, but was strengthened in faith, giving glory to God, 21 and being fully convinced that what He had promised He was also able to perform.

Stay Positive,

Susan…